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The Magic Pudding

Norman Lindsay probably didn’t waste too much time studying economics in his young turn-of-20th century days, as the ‘dismal science’ hadn’t yet occupied our collective imagination. Although he may have read something of Adam Smith, its erstwhile 18th century godfather, who gave economists lots to chew on for the next three hundred years; and his contemporary Keynes, formulating soon-to-be influential economic growth theories; or even good old Malthus, still the reference for exponential population growth.

Undoubtedly Norman had more fun painting, illustrating and writing. Unwittingly though he may have been inspired by this economics stuff in his creative musings and given life to The Magic Pudding. Although considered a children’s story, which he both wrote and illustrated, it’s full of adult metaphors and themes, and one of Australia’s best-loved books. The genius of Albert, the Magic Pudding, is that no matter how much you eat him, he always grows back. Strangely, he’s also a grumpy pudding, who likes getting eaten, but we’ll ignore that for the purposes of this expose.

Now this metaphor business can get messy, so you have to concentrate hard. Firstly, the pudding is obviously the definition of the ultimate renewable resource, so over-consumption is not a problem. Although what happens if you just gulp Albert down in one bite is not really clear. Leaving that existential speculation aside too, this is where Lindsay may have something to answer for. Many Australians and others seem to think that the Earth’s bounty, aka plants, animals, minerals, water and even its atmosphere, are also magic puddings. Alas, science has shown us that this natural bounty exists in a fragile state of equilibrium.

Meantime economists have convinced us that continual growth is the necessary measure of our economic survival. But 1 to 2% GDP growth and 1% population growth compounded over only 100 years produces a world population of 18 billion and energy consumption 10 times greater than today.

So this fatal combination of magic pudding and endless growth thinking seems to be on a collision course with reality. The economist Kenneth Boulding noted though “that anyone who believes exponential growth can go on forever in a finite word is either a mad man or an economist”. Unfortunately economists share their delusions with most politicians, businessmen and much of the populace. Actually so-called neo-classical theory predicts that developed economies will reach a ‘steady state’ of growth. What sort of numbers that involves is not spelled out, but maybe some of the Western world is getting there (e.g. Japan). In any case, it seems low growth could be the ‘new normal’ for many developed countries.

Getting rid of magic pudding syndrome however is going to be a very difficult task, particularly with leaders like Bunyip Bluegum, Bill Barnacle and Sam Sawnoff in charge. Read Lindsay. Finally, no attack on the charlatan anti-social ‘science’ of economics is complete without repeating that old adage about putting all the economists in the world end to end and still not reaching a conclusion.

Global Gormley

Despite its relative isolation, Kookynie is often in the vanguard of cultural (first Australian outback eruv) and artistic endeavours. In 2003 as part of the Perth Festival, British sculptor Antony Gormley was astute enough to select our ‘front yard’ for an original sculptural installation of impressive dimensions. Actually it’s about 50 kms on a dirt road west of our sister metropolis of Menzies (pop. 120) at salty Lake Ballard, more or less just down the road from here.

Gormley used locals as models for his quirky figurative sculptures, which involved naked auditions in a giant scanner to record body shapes. Reception was only lukewarm until $20 inducements were offered. Planned for 3 months exhibition the fifty lanky steel sculptures still stand, and form the major tourist attraction 150 kms north of Kalgoorlie in our bit of outback. Not to be missed on your next trip out west, or east if you’re coming from Perth. Try to avoid the rainy season.

Now this bloke Gormley was obviously onto a good thing, and inspired by his near Kookynie experiences, decided to take his Lake Ballard ideas to the world. Like every smart Westerner (still PC?) he decided to hitch his rising star, so to speak, to the red, rising star of China. The answer was simple: the sculpture figures had to be smaller, easy to mass produce and made under license in China…..thousands of them, to reflect the rising tide of humanity or some such. Actually he gave them trial runs in a Walsh Bay warehouse in Sydney and elsewhere in the world.

The clay figures (figurines?) themselves are not at all reminiscent of the famous terracotta warriors at Xian in China, but they sort of line up in a similar fashion. Dare I say, they do seem rather gormless, but that would be too cheap, which they probably are to make, using hands and clay only. Anyway, check it out, as the figures have proliferated like proverbial rabbits, numbering over 200,000, and certainly fill a space in London. No mention of Kookynie’s inspiration for the whole thing, but we’re just happy to share the Lake Ballard joy. Go forth global Gormley, with our blessing, and multiply!

Pollies & Crackers

Last year the Remuneration Tribunal gave our Federal parliamentarians a serious Christmas present in the form of huge pay increases. The PM copped $90K more, taking her annual salary to $470,000 – try benchmarking that with the US President’s $400,000 and UK PM’s paltry $221,000. Huh? The Deputy PM managed to scoop an even bigger increase of $93K, so obviously he’d been grossly underpaid, as he now earns $370,000. The House Speaker’s cop was another $70K to get to $315,000, as was the Finance Minister’s top-up to $310,000. Lowly member salaries went up $40K to $180,000. Now that’s starting to look like rather biggish bickies, not crackers at all, for our inspiring pollies. Cute abbreviations, like pokies, make them seem less noxious.

No doubt this august tribunal indulged in all the dark arts of salary confection, with that trite old chestnut in mind as it scoured inflated corporate and public service salary comparisons: paying peanuts only attracts monkeys. And all the performance and productivity indicators of our Federal pollies would have been going bananas, so to speak: clear policy, consistent principles, progressive legislative programs, intellectual rigour, societal role modelling & leadership, respect of parliamentary procedures, etc. Of course these high standards will further improve after their northerly salary increments.

With these proper remuneration packages we can also look forward to attracting more (non-monkey) talent into Federal politics, to take this great little big country of ours to new heights of leadership. The results already speak for themselves, as we’ve NOT seen in recent months!

Unravelling this bunch of mixed metaphors of chestnuts, peanuts, bananas and crackers with parrots and monkeys, presents a challenge, so we’ll just muddle through. That ungrateful watermelon (you know, green on the outside and red on the inside) Bob Brown had the temerity to suggest that pollie salaries should really be compared with ordinary Australians, like teachers and nurses, not corporate executives. Thank god Bob’s retired from politics, as he’s so out of touch with our sacred, mortgage-stressed working families and their appreciation of our ruling mob of macaques. Or galahs, or whatever!

Just after Anzac Day is a good time to reflect on our collective failure to meet the challenge of altering Australia’s energy mix. We all know coal is plentiful in the wide brown (oh yeah!) land, and that our polluting power stations produce cheap electricity, but that’s just the problem: it pollutes, to use an old-fashioned word. And one day the coal will run out (what’s left after exports to China), which is why it’s called a finite resource. Now, which part of that do people not understand? Oh, and yes, there’s a high probability that it’s also changing the climate.

A study by the University of Technology and Melbourne Business School on Australian attitudes towards society, politics and the economy has confirmed that we are ‘effectively indifferent to global and societal issues’. Concerns about industrial pollution, climate change, renewable energy, and depletion of energy resources fell dramatically compared to 2007. Attitudes in the UK and USA to environmental sustainability were equally parochial and selfish, and in stark contrast to Germany, where global issues ranked high.

The corollary is well explained in an excellent program on ABC Radio 702 – ‘Germany and Renewable Energy’ - in which a few experts take us succinctly through the politics and facts of twenty years of German experience of building a renewable energy network. National laws on feed-in tariffs were passed in 1990, and in 2000 with twenty year contracts. The cost of photovoltaics is tumbling, and demand so strong that Germany cannot manufacture enough at present. The base load power and economic viability of renewables are demonstrably clear there. Germany has an average of 1738 hours of sunshine a year, or 4.8 hours a day. We have that much before breakfast! Finding plenty of wind in our empty continent is also a no-brainer. Geo-thermal, bio-mass and other clever renewable methods make up the energy mix.  Wake up Australia!

Germany has grown its renewable energy from 2% of total supplies in 1990 to 20% in 2012; meantime Australia has managed to finally get to 5%. Anzac spirit my arse. At that rate Germany will reach 100% renewable energy by 2030, and decommission all nuclear power stations. ‘Beyond Zero Emissions’ shows that Australia could also reach 100% renewables before then using existing technologies. What’s missing is our political leadership. And our collective will, which may involve sacrifices on our part. Lest we forget indeed, wombats! Eats, roots & leaves a mess.

Lao Life

In 1973 KC’s young travel reporter set off to discover our SE Asian neighbours, for a year or so. Travelling slowly through Bali, Java, Sulawesi, Kalimantan, Sabah, Sarawak, Brunei, West Malaysia and Thailand, I eventually arrived in Vientiane, capital of Laos. It was strangely quiet, despite the Vietnam War raging not far off, with communist Pathet Lao troops already encircling and preparing to oust the Royalist government. Blithely taking a bus north to the old Royal seat of Luang Prabang, I was turned back by a roadblock not far out of town. A highlight of my Vientiane stay was the infamous White Rose night club, where floor shows were as salacious as the best (or worst!) of Bangkok’s notorious Pat Pong Road bars. Other customers included dodgy CIA and Air America operatives, infamous for flying arms and drugs to/from tribal groups fighting the communists. Not exactly Apocalypse Now, but a curious ambience nonetheless in that sleepy town on the Mekong. My spirit of adventure undoubtedly had a good dose of uninformed nonchalance and naivety.

Eighteen months later the communists completed their takeover of the country and Vientiane was quickly reformed of its bad habits, including a ban on prostitution and closing down the seedy bar scene. A severe form of regimented Lao-style communism was installed.

Recently I read the first in a series of crime thrillers set in this period: ‘The Coroner’s Lunch – A Dr Siri Paiboun mystery set in Laos’ by Colin Cotterill. Engaging and simply told, it portrays this mix of communism and old Lao customs, as guerrilla cadres out from their jungle hideaways take control. Official stupidity, surveillance and corruption abound, making life difficult for Laos’s only coroner. But our 70+yr old hero carries out his investigations with aplomb and murder mysteries are resolved in the Lao way. When lunching with a politburo pal, overlooking the Mekong, Dr Paiboun occasionally washes it down with illicit Lao-Lao, the local rice whisky. It’s not high literature, but the story is insightful and evocative of that time and place.

My own Lao story came full circle two years ago, returning there thirty-six years later. The White Rose is long gone, but its ghost remained in the restaurants around Nam Phou fountain. Prostitution is still illegal in Laos and the low bar scene has not been allowed to return. In 1973 I had to fly over Pathet Lao territory to reach Luang Prabang, and this time I travelled by bus, over two days through spectacular rugged mountains. LP is now UNESCO heritage-listed because of its unique architecture of royal palaces, Buddhist temples and French colonial buildings, nestled in the junction of two rivers. The restorations work well, and it’s still a cool place to hang out. Sundowners are de rigueur and Beer Lao in large bottles is my palliative for the tropical heat. Enjoying them on a cafe terrace overlooking the Mekong (far north of Dr Paiboun’s favourite spot) was a nostalgic treat – surrounded by my old Laos and distant memories.

 

Q: “Bo penh nyang” – no problem!     A: “Thammadha” – she’ll be right!

Reviews of three films about alienation, exploitation and redemption.

Shame is directed by Steve McQueen (no, the Bullitt guy died in 1980) and stars Michael Fassbender as a NY executive with a serious problem of sex addiction, manifested in his use of prostitutes, masturbation at work, constant pornography use and fleeting relationships. His sister’s arrival upsets his grim routines, as she moves in temporarily and stays. Although confronting and shocking, the story is more nuanced as we get hints of their disturbed family history and conflicted characters. The bleak portrayal of executive work and social life rings true. The audience is challenged (or complicit?) as we are also voyeurs in a story centrally about voyeurism, and the egocentric alienation of our age fuelled by increasing sexualisation. The anti-hero has a brutal epiphany and promise of redemption. Gird your loins (ha!) for R-ratedness and you may be entertained.

The Hunter is based on a Julia Leigh story. A ‘gun for hire’ is sent into Tasmanian wilderness by an unscrupulous foreign hi-tech biology company to find, kill and bring back the last reported Tasmanian Tiger, so it can extract its genetic material and make lots of moolah. Willem Dafoe is ok as the hunter, but the Hollywood-clichéd script is unsubtle, particularly the stereotypical portrayal of conflict between timber town rednecks and tree-hugging greenies. Sam Neill plays a bush character, like he’s wandered over from the Jurassic Park movie lot. The loner amoral hero is redeemed in a final act of courage. The film needed more editing to reduce repetitious car-driving, trap-setting and moody landscape shots. It’s a trite variation on a theme stretching back to King Solomon’s Mines, with Tassie bush decor instead of African jungle.

Sleeping Beauty is Julia Leigh’s own first film as director. The central character is a young woman, with an ethereal beauty, who can’t make enough money waitressing to pay for her uni studies and rent. She accepts work as a silver service waitress cum escort for frustrated wealthy clients, with a special role as ‘sleeping beauty’. Alienation meets the commerce of aged erotic yearnings. The mood is bleak, sex is mechanistic; and like Shame, estranged relationships and survival in our strange world are on display. But the heroine’s feelings are not, so we can’t empathise with her inner world and are left unengaged with her fate. A formal dinner with naked waitresses is eerily similar to a scene in ‘L’Apollonide: Souvenirs de la Maison Close’ (House of Tolerance). Leigh’s slow cinematography is also reminiscent of the ’Nouvelle Vague’ style of Robbe-Grillet. Sleeping Beauty’s unredeemed world left me cold and flat.  

Vamos! Vegemite!

Aldi, the plucky German challenger to supermarket duopoly giants Coles-Woolworths, seems to have a great sense of humour. They have created a whole range of ‘home brands’ : some with cute names redolent of bucolic English countryside, like Sunny Vale margarine, Goldenvale breakfast cereal, Ashwood cakes, Sweet Valley canned fruit, Brookvale desserts, Hydale canned meats, Ashfield smallgoods, Cowbelle cheese, Belmont biscuits; others with cross-cultural concoctions like Damora crackers, Mamia nappies; plus classic French copies like Ouverture jams; also deep connotations, so to speak, like Ocean Rise canned tuna; and soulful Bakers Life breads.

The Aldi marketing department must have a ball in its brainstorming sessions to come up with these non-brand names, and then they design imitation (rip-off is probably a strong word) packaging of rival ‘real’ brands. Presumably intellectual property lawyers run their litigation litmus tests on these close resemblances, but it’s an existential challenge to so-called ‘brand equity’ of the originals. It makes you chuckle while cruising in Aldi, discovering all these unheard-of products.

Champion of Aldi chutzpah is ‘Bramwells Brekkie Mite’, which looks like a twin of our iconic Aussie yeast extract classic, but at half the price. Taste-wise the jury is out, but it seems downright unpatriotic spreading it on my morning toast. The kicker is that it’s made in Brazil! Looks like the Germans have outplayed us again, in our own world cup of breakfast spread, using Brazilian players.

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