Sub Standard

The federal submarine corporation ASC is struggling to maintain the Australian navy’s six ageing (i.e. old) Collins class boats, originally meant to retire from 2026. Three are currently in dockyards for extensive repairs. U.S. expert advice is that ASC lacks engineering experience to undertake ‘life of type extension’ works requiring two-year refits. Insiders say the subs are already too far gone to have their operational lives extended.

In a WA shipyard they are literally chipping away at HMAS Farncomb’s serious corrosion, which the ASC chief said was in hard-to-reach places. To a Senate enquiry, he explained (apparently straight-faced) that you have to remove all the corrosion, grind it, replace the metal you removed by welding, machine the weld to the right tolerances, and then test everything to ensure integrity. 

You may think that’s straightforward, but I can tell you from personal experience of refurbishing my rusty shipping container out here in the bush, that it requires planning, dedication and lots of elbow grease. Not to mention the right grade of sandpaper to get a smooth surface. The container didn’t have many hard-to-reach places, so I sympathise with ASC. But it’s undulating surfaces are fiddly to sand and paint, and tricky to get masking tape in a straight line.

I also understand the need for a two year refit program for each submarine, as I started with the container roof, doors and east side in 2021 during the pandemic period; and then took a break. What with travelling to Europe and the States, doing the shopping, going for a swim and fiddling with other projects. But recently I prepped the west side ready for a final coat, so I’ll keep you posted when it’s done. 

Back to naval problems, or in this case, Border Force’s Cape-class patrol boats, which are meant to enforce Sovereign Borders operations around Australia’s northern waters. Apparently all eight boats have technical problems and are going to sea with defects, some of which involve major fire risks, due to gas and engine oil leaks. Expert advice is that they were delivered sub-standard and design faults restrict their ability to operate in all coastal waters. Recently one of them, Cape York, had to limp back to port after an engine fire, while an Indonesian ‘people smuggler’ landed his boat on the Dampier Peninsula coast with 39 passengers on board.

And today I heard that the Navy’s only two (newish, Spanish built) supply ships are both in dry dock with major defects and months of repairs to come.

Okay, you may be wondering where this litany of marine engineering incompetence (not the shipping container) is leading. 

Well firstly, we can fairly conclude that the notion of Australian capacity to help build, or even maintain, hugely complex AUKUS nuclear submarines any time soon or indeed much later, is ludicrously risible. 

Secondly, following the Federal Opposition Leader’s thought bubble of building nuclear reactors around the country, try to imagine their local maintenance programs when corrosion becomes a problem in hard-to-reach places in the reactors. 

I’ll get back to you after recovering my breath at the stupendous stupidity of Dutton’s announcement. Poor fellow my country indeed, if the punters take such provocative political bastardry seriously.