Re-Joyced Coalition RNA

While busy with pandemic matters, the Australian Federal body politic also caught another severe infection of the Herpes B for Barnaby virus, which is transmitted by the bite or scratch of the New England maycack monkey, aka Barnaby Joyce, erstwhile Deputy PM resurrected.

Without immediate treatment the infection can lead to severe brain damage or death of the aforementioned body. Political clinicians observe that the signs are worrying, as this is a recurrence of the virus and immunity may be compromised from a 2018 outbreak. 

Previously the B virus self-destructed, but left the body with long virus effects of systemic obstruction. The latest re-Joycing B infection appears more virulent and is causing major arterial blocking of the government heart and brain, which may directly contribute to existential warming and destruction of our lovely planet.

Here’s how it works in the modern malpractice of Australian democracy.

A rump party known as the Gnats attaches itself to the arse end of a bigger party with underlying health issues to form a coalition, and then takes control of the host. With only 8.7% of votes, the Gnats get cabinet positions and Deputy PM for their leader, and they wag the dog, to mix our metaphors.

In June the 21 Federal Gnats MPs and senators dumped their leader and self-injected with the Barnaby virus again, thus re-infecting Federal cabinet. He has stubbornly blocked the Australian government from setting a net-zero carbon emissions target for 2050 in line with the rest of the world for the upcoming Glasgow conference. 

Recent polling shows that 78% of Australians agree with that target. To repeat the other numbers: 8.7% of votes produce 21 representatives who elect a leader, who then holds the nation to ransom. Hence one madman denies us a chance of signing up for global action to avoid environmental armageddon. That’s Australian democracy Trump-style!

M-A-D of course also means Mutually Assured Destruction in Cold War jargon, which takes on another meaning here in the distorted and complacent Australian two party plus one political system currently on display.

Barnaby is rumoured to have recently sniffed the winds of change, and may relent in exchange for an extension of the new Inland Rail line from its planned terminus at Toowoomba to Gladstone, which he probably thinks will transport coal. He is an unprincipled retail politician of the highest (or lowest) order. 


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